Tuesday, October 2, 2012

D Diaries #2

Well...the D word has hit again. Sometimes I have no idea what triggers it, other times I know exactly what sets it off...like this time. Tyler.

I was so happy to be with someone who liked me for who I am...only to find that he leaves me because I'm not who he wants me to be. I feel like I've been lied to for the past 9 months. It got me thinking, though. About who I am. And you know what? I like who I am, with a few exceptions. I have good morals and values, and I'd like to believe I have my priorities straight. I worked hard to find a good job, and I found one. I'm loyal, compassionate, and honest. I'm digging deeper into my relationship with God. But yet...I feel empty. Heartbroken. Worthless.

I know that my emotions are heightened right now. I'm a woman, I have depression, and a broken heart. NOT an ideal mix.

This just...isn't helping. I've worked so hard to do everything I could to be happy, and Tyler was a big part of that. I shared with him what went on in my head almost daily, and he was so good at making me feel valued, wanted, and worthy.

I'm hoping that my trip back to Eureka for homecoming will make me feel a little better. GO RED DEVILS!

Also, fingers crossed, my mom and I found apartments that are extremely cute, safe, and affordable. So Tuck and I may be moving in January.

Pray for me, friends. Please.


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