Update

Hi All,

I know it's been a really long time since I posted. I'm sorry. What can I say, I just like reading blogs better than writing in one. Let's see...what has happened since I last posted?

February- The man I talked about in my last post and I started officially dating. He's 29, so 4 years older than me. At first that made me nervous but then I realized how mature and real he is. He's amazing, he really is. I am so thankful for him every day.

March- Racing season started. All hell broke loose at work, since I had never prepared for a race by myself. Thankfully, I made it through....so I thought. More on that a couple months down the road.

April- S's maternity leave ended, and she decided not to return to work for the team. I interviewed with our President for the position and got it!! Along with more responsibility, I got a large pay raise. I leased a new car, my first one! I had been driving my poor Honda CRV for 10 years, and it was time to get a new one. I'm the proud leaser of a 2013 Ford Focus in Electric Blue...and I LOVEE her.

May- Indianapolis 500 month. AKA "work is super busy as hell" month. I made it through, after multiple glasses of wine, crying sessions, and pep talks. Too bad the outcome wasn't what we expected.

June- Life as usual, nothing special happened.

July- My world came crumbling down when on July 3rd, I was demoted. Out of the blue. No one knew about it, and I walked in to the conference room and say the look on my HR Director's face. She looked as astonished as I felt after my supervisor told me what he was doing. I still don't have a reason for why this happened to me. No one does. I was offered my old position at the front desk, and given until Monday (July 8th) to decide.

After much debate, I decided to take my old position. However, I am actively looking for other opportunities. The feeling of being here is....awful. I dread going to work every day. I am so embarrassed when someone else asks me why I'm at the front desk. The worst part of it is, I feel as though most of the management is extremely happy. I feel very disconnected from the team, like an outsider.  This was how I felt as the receptionist originally, but it's a lot bigger now. I'm not sure if it is because my "new" position isn't very active, but I find myself sitting down here with tears rolling down my cheeks every day, feeling worthless. Inadequate. Stupid.

My relationship with Chris and our fur babies are the only things that keep me going. Chris is my rock. I love him so much and am so glad to have him in my life. My friends have been really great through all of this, the same with my family, but none of them know what this feels like, nor do they understand.

Please keep me in your prayers.

CATE