Wednesday, August 29, 2012

If Only...

I usually do WILW on hump days, but my mind is too full of random thoughts. Mostly one in particular

...sometimes I wish my boyfriend was different.

Don't get me wrong, I love Tyler. I really do. But lately...reading all these blogs and watching people around me makes me wish for something more. My love style is words of affirmation. I thrive on people complimenting me, telling me how happy I make them, telling me they love me, etc. Tyler's love style is...nonexistent it seems. He knows perfectly well how I crave hearing those three little words, or even just a "you make me happy, Cate." Unfortunately...he doesn't do things like that very often. I hate reminding him that words are how I feel loved, but whenever he notices that I'm particularly sad looking and asks why, that is the reason 75% of the time.

I obsess over why I am feeling this way, and tell myself to get a grip. I went from a very controlling relationship to being single for a while to a relationship where I have more freedom than I want. I want him to call/text me just to check up on me. I want him to be more spontaneous. I want to feel more loved. Right now...I question his love for me almost daily, which isn't fair to him. I know that everyone shows their love in a different way, and maybe I just haven't figured his out yet, but this is driving me crazy. I wish there was a way to explain this to him without getting overly emotional, but so far no luck.

Have any of you ever dealt with something like this?


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